Most people, when asked "who are you", would respond by giving descriptions of what they do, where they work, perhaps what sign they were born under, maybe even claim their family name. But how often do we define ourselves by what we are not? We probably do this more than we realize. After recently reading Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn I was struck by how Finn's true identity is discovered when he tries to assume the role of a girl. After entering the home of a woman he does not know and introducing himself as "Sarah Williams from Hookerville" he believes he is doing well in his disguise, but the woman is suspicious. She claims to see a rat and tosses a chunk of lead to Finn, who clasps his legs together, catches the chunk and then throws it very well at the rat. The woman tells him she knows his secret because he neither catches nor throws like a girl.
This suggests very plainly that, although his abilities define Huckleberry Finn, so do his inabilities. If he can throw well, he must be a boy, and he would have to throw poorly to be a girl. This simply puts forth the concept of nurture vs. nature, suggesting that the genetic makeup of a person, whether it be XX or XY, must also be a performance.
When looking at the way media, in all it's forms, defines gender, we can see that much of it is a performance. We preform our roles subconciously in our daily lives, but what we see, read and hear is done with much purpose. The roles of men are played out by actors choosing to portray the very ideal image of a man, defined not only by what a typical man is but just as importantly what he is not. The same goes for women, and we as consumers reflect these stereotypical depictions to the most minute detail.
This is not to suggest that we not perform our roles so much as it is a warning that perhaps choosing not to learn certain usefull abilities because those abilities do not fit our gender role is a foolish notion. We should never sell ourselves short and define ourselves by what we are not. Instead, we should allow ourselves to be defined by all that we are, can and should be.

-James Rutherford